The Not-So-Pretty Side of Travel

I love to travel. I love to tell funny stories. And I love to tell funny stories about travel. So, I thought, why not make a big ol’ section of my blog devoted to that?

“But, Kelly,” I said to myself, “I’m sure there are already a billion blogs out there with a comedic bent to travel.” “Oh, Kelly,” I said back to myself, “You’re so smart and beautiful and wise – you’re probably right. Never mind on the blog stuff.”

But, I googled, just to check. And…nothing really came up.

So, I asked around. The response I constantly got: “The only travel blogs that are out there are ‘influencer’ blogs – so it’s all beauty selfies and impossibly perfect stuff.”

This made me SO HAPPY, because “beauty selfies” and “impossibly perfect” are so not me! (or anybody, really.) So…

I FOUND MY NICHE!

And to prove it, my friends, THIS is the first photo I’m posting:

IMG_1121
OH GOD, THE HORROR      photo credit: Satan

This is what I looked like in the airport bathroom after being awake for 42.5 hours, which included an 11 hour flight in a middle seat, 2 gag sessions (in whence I repeatedly gag as though I ‘twil vomit, but I DON’T), a 5 hour and 44 minute flight delay, 1 cold, 1 night trying to sleep surrounded by homeless people in an airport, and 1 train going the wrong way. Be thankful the photo’s not scratch-and-sniff.

To show how far I was reduced, and to be fair to myself and not turn EVERYONE off, here’s what I looked like 42.5 hours before, no filter, prancing around the Luxembourg Gardens:

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TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU     STILL CAN, IDIOT

Aw, poor, smiling, naive Kelly. You enjoy that lemon tart, because you have no idea how crappy the next 42.5 hours are going to be. But you’ll get so much material you’ll be able to spin it into multiple yarns and entertain dozens and dozens of people!

I love finding deals, I love the wonder and lessons travel gives us, I HATE ‘perfect’ selfies, and I love finding the humor in the things that make me suffer. So, I’m gonna start telling some of those stories.

Come along, won’t you?

(or don’t. I’ve found I prefer traveling alone, anyway.)

(…but, on second thought, come along. I’d really love to be able to monetize this site and quit my job so I can travel more. Maybe become an influencer; take lotttttts of fake selfies.)

9 thoughts on “The Not-So-Pretty Side of Travel

  1. “Photo credit: Satan.” Nice. He’s snapped a pic or two of me as well. Oh, and I wasn’t offended by the “I’ve found I prefer traveling alone, anyway.” Just gutted.

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