I’d watched all that Rick Steves had to offer on visiting Rome, and I’d been there once before, so on my second trip, the plan was to hit all the sites that I hadn’t gotten to the first time, cocky as heck with all my knowledge. On my first trip I’d worn blue Keds, and I’d walked an average of 12 miles a day (because … Continue reading Rick Steves Lied to Me
When I first stepped into my apartment, my mouth literally dropped open. I ran to the right, confirming there was a kitchen, then to my left, confirming there was a bathroom. Then I grabbed the scared Building Manager by the collar and shrieked, “GIVE ME THIS GOTDAM APARTMENT!” I had one week left before I had to be out of my old place, and I … Continue reading Van Nuys: The City That Never Sleeps Without a Noise Machine
I miss travel in these dark times, but, it turns out I’ve been cursed with the Pavlovian response of gagging on planes, so maybe it’s best that I can’t fly right now. This gag reflex is going to deeply cramp my style when I’m sitting next to Chris Evans on a flight – both in our “meet cute” and later, en route to our castle … Continue reading I Gag on Planes Now
Oh, boy. Like all of you, 2020 was supposed to be my year. My screenplay had just placed in an awesome competition – which I was promised would bring me fortune and glory – I had just returned to LA from my first Christmas trip home in 5 years, and I was ready to implement all the genius that Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book “Breaking the … Continue reading My Eye Twitch Predicted 2020
One February afternoon in Florence, I decided to go up to a tourist spot called Piazzale Michelangelo. The problem with this was, it was a literal hike up a mountain, and at this point in my trip, I had sustained multiple injuries, the most recent one being a knee injury from reaching the bottom of a staircase – or what I thought was the bottom … Continue reading My Hellish Hike to Selfie Town
I love to travel. I love to tell funny stories. And I love to tell funny stories about travel. So, I thought, why not make a big ol’ section of my blog devoted to that? “But, Kelly,” I said to myself, “I’m sure there are already a billion blogs out there with a comedic bent to travel.” “Oh, Kelly,” I said back to myself, “You’re … Continue reading The Not-So-Pretty Side of Travel
I threw up on a first date last week, and it has changed my life. As soon as I greeted my date at the brewery, I realized I had a headache, but I kept it to myself. We ordered a special beer; I could barely make my way through it (I hate beer, but thought I’d give it a try, because I don’t wanna be … Continue reading I Puked on a First Date
Fall always makes me ponder my life and the direction it’s going. I associate Fall weather with the start of school, and the potential beginnings that come from that. Since I’ve been out of school for about <ahem, cough cough> years, you’d think that feeling would be gone by now, but it’s not. I always question what I’m doing with my life and whether I … Continue reading Cracking Up
I’m only dating men with real jobs from now on. This means: Actors: OUT. Doctors: IN. I’ve watched “The Secret.” I know what I have to do to get what I want in life. Hot Italian Doctor, I’m comin’ for ya. Consider this post my Hot Italian Doctor vision board. I’m a realist, though- Hot Italian Doctor won’t just drop in my lap, problem-free. … Continue reading Seeking: Hot Italian Doctor
Pilot Season is upon us, and this is the first time I’ll be experiencing it with a Theatrical Agent. I am fully aware I won’t be landing a lead role on a primetime show anytime soon, BUT, there are other acting possibilities for me. In an effort to increase my odds, below is an open letter for decision-makers out there to consider: Dear Writer/Show-Runner/Executive/Casting Director: … Continue reading Let Me Pour That Coffee!
Kelly Thinks This 