Oh, boy. Like all of you, 2020 was supposed to be my year. My screenplay had just placed in an awesome competition – which I was promised would bring me fortune and glory – I had just returned to LA from my first Christmas trip home in 5 years, and I was ready to implement all the genius that Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” had bestowed upon me. (Read it! It’s amazing!)

2020 was the year that I would get to leave my day job and step into the job I love, giving me a financial and creative freedom I had never known before. I was gonna fit back in my skinny jeans; Chris Evans was gonna fall in love with me; we were gonna have an extravagant castle wedding in France. Then 2020 and Lily James said, “Not so fast, bitch.”

Crazy thing is, my body tried to tell me. On New Year’s Day, I was walking into the day job, wearing the stupid ugly uniform and the stupid dumb nametag, walking the horrible half-mile to the site where I would be surrounded by stupid dumb dumbness, and, my eye twitched.

Now, usually, the half-mile walk is a welcomed form of exercise, but I have found that I tend to mentally seethe along the way. Thanks to Dispenza, I learned that I needed to elevate my mood on that walk, and so, instead of my usual seethe, I was actually in a happy spot, telling myself fortune and glory and Chris Evans were coming my way!

But my eye twitched AGAIN. I stopped and blinked hard. Didn’t help. All day long, twitches.

I looked up all the possible reasons – excess caffeine, excess stress, lack of sleep. I had none of those things; ironically, I felt THE BEST I HAD FELT IN FOREVER because THIS WAS MY YEAR!

I ruled out eyeball cancer and told myself to try to forget about it. But I looked like an old pirate witch in line at the grocery store, as my eye would twitch and I’d cock my head and look around warily, wondering if anyone could see. The gold doubloons I clutched and parrot on my shoulder probably didn’t help. (…can you believe that’s the way “doubloon” is spelled?)

The twitch lasted for about a week, off and on, until it finally faded into the night. While the twitch manifested into what turned out to be the weirdest year ever, in strange ways, I got some of what I wanted – to not be at my day job, to have family time, to be able to focus on my writing. I just didn’t want to bring about the end of the world in order to get all that. 

On New Year’s Day this year, I cautiously eyeballed my eyeballs as best as I could eyeball – no twitch. Okay, so…THIS IS THE YEAR! I’ve recently read another one of Dispenza’s books, cut out (most) sugar, and made Top Ten in that same competition with another screenplay, so…THIS is the year for fortune and glory and Chris…right? <EYEBALLS EXPLODE>